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Bitter air hung about the parapet as if a vulture circling a corpse carefully that night. The moon was empty, making the darkness somewhat thicker in the autumn evening. It suited the thief just fine. Her breath was shallow and it made small puffs of mist pass the lip of the cowl she wore. Against the wall, as if taunting the intermittent light that crept warily from the torches lining the wall, the accomplished burgler weaved. She dodged the guard's droopy eyes. She ducked past windows. Lithe and flawless the vagrant's fingers and feet transported her up the crinkled castle wall towards her destination. The steam burst more frequently from the cowl, as if a steam-powered automaton scaled the wall, no human. All of her life the silent brigand had been twisted to this task and her mind detached her from it, the body moving instinctively, wordlessly, robotically. The thief's exterior had been cold and smooth to all outsiders. A perfect untouchable form. Few knew of the warmth, fear and dread that always lay below the armour. Senna Sharptail moved towards her destination in the keep, passing a small flame. She didn't notice it flicker a deeper shade of blue...
©2008-2009 ~ArrancarSemiazas
:iconarrancarsemiazas:

Author's Comments

Just me practicing some scene setting, going for suspense this time. Next time will be actiony kinda thing, expect gunslinging. =The Literati is a good place for any writers, BTW, especially new ones.

Comments


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:iconsakanoue:
Wow! Angel that is so cool. I am so proud of you are your amazing writings it's purest wonderful. :hug:

--
"Of all the days that I have lived, only those I spent with you seemed real."

LxItachi anyone? ==> [link]
[link] <== Or some marvelous dance?
:iconarakida-ayano:
Great name too. Like it....Now write the rest please!!!

--
From the creator of

Senor Garcia and All Purpose Neko Boy >>>>[link]

And The Only>>>>[link]

-arakida-ayano-
:iconarrancarsemiazas:
Yare yare daze...*files it under 'Requests'*

--
Anyone got a concrete plan on how to get a body like Brandon Boyd?
((Join my TF2 Clan today! Look me up, I'm |S-K|Bardock))
:iconthe-literati:
This is very good Semiazas, I see you are a man of both inclinations ^_^ I loved your description of her movements, so perfect. Thank you.

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Competitions, advice, critiques and tips on how to beat the Block!!
:iconleo-garth:
Well, this sure matches the length of a practice, but not the quality! I just found this by checking out Literati's three best writers, and you are awesome!!

--
"There is no enemy. There is no victory. Only boys who lost their lives in the sand." - Sabaton, Cliffs of Gallipoli
:icona-fiery-boom:
This is an interesting piece! I would love to see it continue someday! =D

Well, there isn't much to complain about. The mood is cool and mysterious, which is perfect in my opinion, and I don't see any grammar errors or any sort. Plus, I love the thief's name. It really seems to suit her. =)

My only suggestion for this would be to try and make a more even balance of long and short sentences so it flows a bit better. Aside from that, this is looking great!

Oh, and long live :iconthe-literati:!!

--
"Writing is our inner screams waiting to be released in ink."

I'm Ayame of ~FurubaCrew!

Details

April 7, 2008
1.3 KB

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